2026, May 30 - Ice Cream, Fog, and a little Wandering

 Dearest Charlie,

I really need to start writing down my daily activities.

I'm finding that I'm forgetting things, and I don't want to do that. There are all these little moments that seem insignificant at the time, but later I wish I could remember exactly when they happened.

Since I last posted, my brother Alex came to visit and bring me a large delivery of boudin.  You know how I like my boudin!

We went to church on Sunday and then spent some time exploring Allegany State Park and Letchworth State Park. I also drove him past the work site so he could see where I've been spending my days. Unfortunately, it was so foggy we couldn't see much of anything.

When I went back to work, Alex spent some time hiking around Ellicottville on his own. He left Wednesday morning and headed back home. Thursday was my first day by myself again.

And today was my first Saturday off in a while.  And apparently my body decided to celebrate by sleeping in.  A lot.  I finally crawled out of bed around noon, took a shower, and threw together a lunch of a sandwich, an apple, and some potato chips.  Then I decided to head west and do a little sightseeing on my own.

My first stop was Long Point State Park. It's a nice little place, but it's day-use only. No camping. No campfires. Just a place to stroll around and enjoy the lake.  I took lots of pictures of flowers and critters.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

After my walk, I rewarded myself with a salted caramel ice cream cone.  Because apparently that's what I do now. Then I drove over to Bemus Point and wandered around for a while before settling in at Splash for supper.  I ordered their "dainty" lobster over mac and cheese.  It was okay.  Not terrible.  Not amazing.  Certainly not worth writing home about.

Although I guess technically I'm writing home about it now.

I sat outside to eat, which might have been a mistake. There were two different musicians playing at the same time. One was over at Splash, where I was eating. He was a jazz pianist who liked taking modern songs and giving them the jazz treatment. The other was performing on the waterfront stage next door.

So while one guy was jazzing up contemporary music, the other was singing things like "La Bamba" and "Do You Love Me?"

You can probably imagine the sensory overload.  It was like attending two completely different concerts at the same time.

Eventually I finished my meal, paid my bill, and walked next door to an ice cream shop. And yes... I bought another ice cream cone. This one was called "Salty Turtle."

Apparently I spent the entire afternoon sampling variations of salted caramel.  It was different. Good. But different. By then the sun was getting lower and I decided it was time to head home.

Nothing particularly exciting happened today. Just a little wandering. A little sightseeing. A little people watching. And apparently a lot of ice cream.

Honestly, it was a pretty good day.

I wish you had been there with me.  I don't like doing things like this alone.  But I don't really have a choice do I?  I miss you.

Love,

Me

2026, May 24 - A New Beginning

 Dearest Charlie,

So… this one’s probably gonna be a long one because I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

As you know, I’ve been trying to get into safety work and away from massage therapy.

For almost 28 years, my main job was being a wife and mama. Taking care of you, the girls, the house, all the moving parts of life. Then you died and suddenly I was left alone trying to figure out how to raise two teenage daughters and survive financially at the same time. So I went to massage school.

I did what I had to do. It paid the bills, gave me flexibility, and let me still be there for the girls while they were growing up.

But now, they’ve grown up, graduated, started building lives of their own.  And here I am. Alone. At least physically anyway, since you’re not here. This wasn’t exactly how I pictured life turning out, but here we are.

Anyway, about two years ago, I started seriously praying about changing careers and getting into safety. I took the classes, got certifications, sent out hundreds of emails and resumes. 

October 2025, I finally landed that first firewatch job at Shintech.

I sent out more resumes - including one to Barnhart. Shortly after that, I got an email back from Matt Tabor saying they weren’t hiring at the moment but would keep me in mind. My response to that was basically, “Oh sure you will.” And then I deleted the email and went on with life. I went back to doing massage in December and January before putting in my notice so I could go work the DOW turnaround. That lasted about six weeks before I got laid off.

So there I was… sitting around, twiddling my thumbs, wondering what my next move was going to be. Then out of nowhere, Brittany from Barnhart called me and asked if I was still interested in the position.  Of course I said yes, but honestly, I still didn’t think anything would come of it.

Then about a week later,  Matt Tabor himself calls me.  The same man who emailed me months earlier saying they weren’t hiring. He interviewed me over the phone, and at the end of the conversation he asked, “When can you start?”

I answered, “When do you want me there?”

He laughed and said, “As soon as you can get here.”

Then Brittany called back with the details.

That’s when I learned the pay, the location… and that this was a travel position.  A travel position, Charlie.  You know how long I’ve talked about wanting to travel.  So I packed up and headed north to New York.

When I got here, I had to go through orientation. Usually that kind of thing happens at the Safety Council back home, but this one was onsite.  And honestly, I was nervous.  I kept thinking, “What if they figure out I’m not what they wanted?”  

Then orientation started.  Barnhart welcomed me to the team, started talking about the company, and then they put the company purpose up on the screen:

“To glorify God…”

Charlie… my jaw about hit the floor.  I don’t even remember the rest of the statement because that part hit me so hard.  Then later, the guy doing orientation closed us out in prayer.

The next week, Tabor came onsite and after a safety meeting, he prayed over the whole crew too. At that point I was sitting there thinking, “Okay Lord… I hear You.”

Then came the housing situation. Originally, before I even got here, I had arranged to rent a little cottage from a couple named Chantelle and Brent for $2,000 a month.

Two thousand dollars.

I thought that was insane, especially with my goal of trying to get out of debt this year, but housing up here is hard to find because this is basically a resort area.

I started searching Facebook Marketplace trying to find something cheaper and messaged a lady named Mary Claire about a furnished three-bedroom apartment for $1,000 a month.  She messaged back saying it had already been rented.

So for the first couple of weeks up here, I bounced around staying in a cheap old hotel for about fifty dollars a night. Then a coworker told me about a little apartment out in the country about twenty minutes from work for $1,200 a month.  I agreed to take it.  The landlord, Joan, told me no deposit was needed, just show up. Only catch was I’d have to leave for a few days in July because she already had prior guests booked.  I remember thinking, “Well… that’s inconvenient, but okay.”

Then about three days later…

Mary Claire messages me out of nowhere and says the other arrangement fell through and asks if I’m still interested in the apartment.  Of course I was.  So with $2,500, I moved into a furnished three-bedroom apartment right in town.  Now how’s that for coincidence?

And then the last thing…

I had booked a massage at a place called “A New Beginning.”  The therapist there, Amanda, invited me to visit her church called “Healing Reign.”  I kept putting it off.  Then Alex came to visit.  Before church this morning, he went walking around town and saw the sign for A New Beginning spa. Took a picture of it because he thought it looked interesting.

Later, he asked me where I’d gone for my massage, and when I told him, he just stared at me and said,

“Do you realize that’s the name of my church?”  And no… I hadn’t even connected the two.  Maybe that’s small to some people.  But it wasn’t to me.

So between Barnhart, this apartment, the church connection, and several other little things along the way…

I just can’t call it coincidence anymore.  I really believe I’m supposed to be here.  I still don’t fully understand why.  Maybe there’s some bigger purpose.

Or maybe… maybe the purpose right now is simply for me to rest in His presence for a while and let things unfold however they’re meant to. Maybe purpose doesn’t always arrive as a lightning bolt. Maybe sometimes it unfolds one unlikely connection at a time.

I don’t know.

But for the first time in a long time…For the first time in years, I feel less like I’m running for survival and more like I’m being led somewhere.

I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be.  I sure do wish you were here to see it all.

I miss you.

Love always,
Me

2026, May 20 - Big Machines, Family Drama, and Boudin

My Dearest Charlie,

I sure do wish you were here to see this jobsite.

Watching these men and machines put these wind turbines together is fascinating. We have two of the largest cranes in the world out here. The Liebherr LR 11000 is absolutely massive. Fully assembled, it stands over 430 feet tall—that’s about the height of the Louisiana State Capitol building.

And the turbines themselves are even taller!

The tower is around 380 feet tall, then they stick 250-foot blades on them.  It’s hard to explain just how huge all this stuff is until you’re standing underneath it feeling tiny. I honestly think you would’ve loved watching all this.

I’m really enjoying New York, even though I haven’t gotten to do nearly as much hiking and exploring as I wanted because my knees keep acting ugly.  I am so tired of hurting.

There’s so much around here I want to see while I’ve got the chance. I don’t know where the next project after this one will take me, so I feel this pressure to soak up as much as I can while I’m here.

What I do know is they expect me to stay here through the end of the year… maybe even into the beginning of next year.  Hopefully before the snow gets too serious.  Because you know good and well this Louisiana girl does not know how to drive in all that mess.

My Site Safety Manager called me the other day and told me he plans to request that I move with him to whatever location comes next. Then he started throwing out places like Colorado… Montana… even Alaska.

Alaska, Charlie.  Can you imagine me up there trying not to bust my tail on ice or get carried off by wildlife?

Life has gotten strange.  But honestly… kinda good too.

In other news…

M2 had herself quite a scare with Milo.

That dog apparently forgot he was a dog and decided he was a hog instead. Ate way too much stuff his stomach had no business processing and ended up with pancreatitis.

Poor little stinker.

It scared M2 half to death, but thankfully he’s okay now and back to acting like his normal spoiled self.

That dog has more drama than most people I know.  Speaking of drama ...

S and J are back together again.  Yeah… I know.  And almost immediately after they got back together, S got fired from her job.  Go figure.

She’s been really upset and crying a lot, which is understandable. But I think she’ll eventually be okay. She’s stronger than she realizes.

J may have an opportunity in Iowa, which could put them a whole lot closer to me for a while.  That actually would be kind of nice.  And speaking of visitors…

Alex is coming to New York this weekend!   He’s bringing me about 12 pounds of boudin, which officially makes him my favorite child this week.  I wanted more, but at almost eight dollars a pound, apparently I need to settle down and quit acting like I’m opening a Cajun meat market up here.  I also asked him to bring my crockpot and my mountain dulcimer.  As much time as I spend sitting around after work, I may as well learn how to play it.  Lord help the neighbors!

Then about eight days after Alex leaves, M1 is coming up too, along with Dana and Remi.

We’re gonna get a couple of good days of girl time before they fly back home, and I’m really looking forward to that.  I just wish M2 and Kyle could come visit too.  Maybe someday.

Anyway… life just keeps rolling along up here.  Some good things. Some stressful things. Some weird things.  But overall… I think I’m doing alright.

I just wish you were here to share it with me.

I miss you.

Love always,
Me

2026, May 17 - Dearest Dahlin'

 Dearest Dahlin’,

I know I’ve put a few days between posts lately.

I had big plans this weekend too. I was going to get out and do some exploring… maybe see something new, take a drive, get out in nature a bit.  Instead, all I managed to do was get a hydrofacial and then spend the rest of the weekend laid up in the apartment.

My back decided to “do a thing” while I was climbing the stairs, and that was pretty much the end of my productivity.  One wrong move and suddenly I was moving around like an 85-year-old woman trying not to anger the arthritis gods.  Fortunately, I had anti-inflammatories and a muscle relaxer on hand, so that helped some.

Still though…

I sure do wish you were here. Not even for anything big. Just little things. Like warming up the heat pack for me because it hurts to get up and do it myself. That’s the stuff I miss sometimes more than anything else. Not the grand moments. Just being cared for.

In other news, people at work seem to genuinely like me there. That still surprises me a little.

My boss acts like I’m doing them some huge favor by being there, and I finally told him so. He just looked at me and said, “Well… you ARE.” I honestly didn’t know what to say to that. Then he told me if I needed new boots, to go buy them and the company would reimburse me. I was shocked.

I mean, I’m perfectly happy with the boots I have… but I’ll admit, a better pair might help these knees of mine feel a little less like rusty door hinges every morning. So maybe there’s a new boot shopping trip in my future.

Look at me… living dangerously.

Anyway, I’m hoping another day or two of taking it easy will calm everything back down. I’m getting too old to be out here throwing my back out on staircases. The irony is not lost on me that I came all the way to New York to work in safety… and now my biggest workplace hazard appears to be apartment stairs.

Life is funny like that.

I sure do miss you, Dahlin’.

Love you always,
Me

2026, May 13 - It's Been A Few Days

 Dearest Charlie,

It’s been a few days, hasn’t it?

Not because anything huge has happened… just life. Work, rest, trying to stay ahead of things, trying not to spend money, trying not to let my knee or this pollen nonsense take me down completely.  The past few days have mostly been a cycle of work and coming home tired.

I’m settling into the job more now. Things don’t feel quite as foreign as they did those first couple of weeks. I’m learning names, routines, paperwork, who does what, and where things go. I still have moments where I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing… but apparently I’m hiding it fairly well.  So far, nobody has escorted me off the property. That feels promising.

The paycheck snafu finally worked itself out, thank goodness. For a minute there, I was sweating it pretty hard. It’s amazing how fast your stress level rises when money decides not to show up when it’s supposed to.  But it got handled.  And honestly, people here have been kinder than I expected.  That still surprises me a little.

I’m slowly getting more settled in the apartment too. It’s quiet here. Sometimes too quiet. But I’m getting used to it. I still haven’t fully unpacked everything. Part of me thinks I’m still mentally living out of hotel rooms. 

The weather continues to confuse me daily.  One minute snow flurries… the next minute sunshine… then rain… then wind that feels like it came directly from the Arctic.  I don’t even question it anymore. I just look outside and say, “Alrighty then.”

I haven’t done much exploring lately because my knee and the pollen have both been acting ugly. So instead, I’ve mostly stayed in, watched movies, rested, and tried to recover a little.

Exciting stuff, I know.

I did finally cook a few real meals though, so at least I’m no longer surviving entirely on ham sandwiches and chips. I made some beef tips with green beans which I ate on for 3 days.  Then I made a bacon, chicken, ranch casserole and will eat on that for 3 days.  So, that's progress!

I still miss you all the time. Especially in the evenings when everything gets quiet and there’s nobody here to tell about the little details of the day. That’s probably what I miss the most sometimes- the sharing of ordinary life.  Talking with you and hearing your voice and about your day also.

Anyway…

That’s the update from this side.

Love and miss you muchly,

Me

2026, Apr 29 - The Past Few Days

My Dahlin' Chahles,

The past few days have been a bit of a mix.

I had all these ideas about getting out and exploring more… but the pollen had other plans. It hit me pretty hard - congestion, scratchy throat, that overall “I just don’t feel right” feeling.  So instead of adventuring, I’ve mostly been laying low.  Resting. Drinking fluids. Trying to let my body catch up.  Not exactly exciting… but probably necessary.

Work has been steady. I’m getting more comfortable with things, starting to find a rhythm. I’m not second-guessing every little thing like I was at first. Still learning, but not quite as unsure. That feels like progress.

Now… in the middle of all that, there was the paycheck snafu. Somehow, it fell through the cracks and didn’t hit when it was supposed to. That definitely got my attention - and not in a good way. For a minute there, things felt a little tight. But people stepped up.

CC loaned me some money without hesitation, and PM R got me a check written out to help bridge the gap. My bank, of course, decided to hold it and then reversed it (because why make things easy?), but still… it helped.  It reminded me I’m not completely out here on my own.  Even when it feels like it.

Even with not feeling great, I’ve had a few quiet moments that I’ve appreciated. Sitting in my apartment, listening to the stillness, watching the weather shift back and forth between cold and not-so-cold.

It’s a different pace up here. Slower in some ways. Louder in others - especially in my own head. I’ve also been thinking a lot about everything going on back home.

S and J… still doing their back-and-forth thing. I don’t even know what to say about that anymore. I just shake my head and let them figure it out. S is coming to stay with me for about a month.  I'm excited about that because we haven't had time together like that for quite a while.  I'm looking forward to it.

MJ2… I still worry about her. I try not to hover, but it’s hard when I know she’s struggling. Even though she says they aren't struggling.  Us parents see it differently, right?

And me?  Well, I’m okay.  Not 100%… but okay.

Adjusting. Learning. Resting when I need to. Pushing when I can.  It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.

I do wish you were here.

I think you’d like some of this… and probably laugh at some of it too.

I miss you.

Love you always,
Me

2026, Apr 26 - An Icky Weekend

 Dearest Charlie,

I’m feeling pretty icky this weekend.  I had big plans to get out and do some exploring… but the pollen has other ideas. It’s winning, and I’m over here fighting congestion, a scratchy head, and just that overall “blah” feeling.  Not exactly adventure-ready.

I keep thinking I should get up and do something… anything… but I just can’t seem to find the motivation. Every time I consider it, my body votes no.  So I guess this weekend is turning into a lay-low kind of weekend.  Rest. Fluids. Maybe something warm to eat. And a whole lot of not doing much.

Not what I had in mind - but probably what I need.  I do wish you were here.

You’d probably fuss at me a little, tell me to slow down and take care of myself… and then make sure I actually did it.  

I miss that.

Anyway… that’s about all I’ve got today.

Just me, a pile of tissues, and a stubborn case of pollen.

Love you,
Me