Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Mar 2, 2012
Key to long marriage: Do what your wife wants
This article was printed in the Baton Rouge paper on Feb 21, 1998
By Thomas H. Maugh II
Los Angeles Times
Husbands, forget all that psychobabble about active listening and validation.
If you want your marriage to last for a long time, the newest advice from psychologists is quite simple: Just do what your wife says. Go ahead, give in to her.
Active listening, in which one partner paraphrases the other partner's concerns – "So what I hear you saying is …" – is unnatural and requires too much of people in the midst of emotional conflict, says psychologist john Gottman of the University of Washington. "Asking that of couples is like requiring emotional gymnastics," he says.
Gottman and his colleagues studied 130 newlywed couples for six years in an effort to find ways to predict both marital success and failure.
Couples who used such techniques were no more likely to stay together than couples who did not, they are to report today in the Journal of Marriage and the Family, which is published by the National Council on Family Relations.
"We need to convey how shocked and surprised we were by these results for the active listening model," the team admitted in the article.
In fact, Gottman and his colleagues have long recommended active listening to couples seeking counseling and had expected that its use would be a predictor of success in marriages.
That it was not a predictor, he said, suggests that its widespread use in marital counseling should be abandoned.
The marriages that did work well all had one thing in common – the husband was willing to give into the wife.
"We found that only those newlywed men who are accepting of influence from their wives are ending up in happy, stable marriages," Gottman said. The autocrats who failed to listen to their wives' complaints, greeting them with stonewalling, contempt and belligerence were doomed from the beginning, they found.
But the study did not let wives completely off the hook.
Women who couched their complaints in a gentle, soothing, perhaps even humorous approach to the husband were more likely to have happy marriages than those who were more belligerent.
"That type of (belligerent) response is even more exaggerated in violent marriages," he added.
The fact that happily married couples do not normally use active listening is not a surprise, according to psychologist Howard Markman of the University of Denver, author of the 1994 book "Fighting For Your Marriage".
"We've found that in our own studies," he said.
In fact, he argues that Gottman is setting up a "straw man" in the study of active listening and validation, which is another form of recognizing the legitimacy of a spouse's opinions.
"When active listening is taught, it is not because happy couples use it," Markman said.
"We use it to help couples disrupt the negative patterns that predict divorce."
Gottman said he is "very sympathetic" to that idea.
"If you can genuinely listen and be empathetic when you are the target of the complaint, that can be very powerful," he said.
But for the average person, he said, "it is just too hard. The average person meets anger with anger."
The differences between Gottman and Markman are typical of the turmoil in the field of marital counseling.
A 1993 report argued that marital therapy has a relapse rates so high "that the entire enterprise may be in a state of crisis."
A recent Consumer Reports study found that people who underwent such therapy were the least satisfied among people who had undergone any form of psychotherapy.
Gottman's study was designed to identify the factors that naturally contribute to a successful marriage so those might be brought into play in therapy, thereby making it more successful.
"If you want to change marriages," he said, "You have to talk about the 'emotionally intelligent' husband. Some men are really good at accepting a wife's influence, at finding something reasonable in a partner's complaint to agree with." That group represents perhaps a third of all men, he added.
"Another group just rejects all attempts at influence. That's very characteristic of violent men," he said, but a majority of men do it to some extent.
"They feel, 'If I give in on this, I'm going to lose everything. I'm going to be totally manipulated and controlled."
That is not to say that men are the source of all problems in a marriage, he hastens to add.
But changing the attitudes of men "is a very powerful lever" in changing the course of a marriage.
"The only way to change marriage for the better is to improve the quality of friendship between a husband and wife and to help them deal with disagreements differently," Gottman says.
"There has to be a kind of gentleness in the way conflict is managed. Men have to be more accepting of a woman's position, and women have to be more gentl in starting up discussions."
Feb 26, 2012
80 Creative Dating Ideas
Lately, I’ve been looking for different date ideas for my hunny and I to enjoy together. We’re working on our 15th wedding anniversary this year!!! So, I hunted up some ideas and decided to post them here for your reading … and dating… enjoyment. Oh, and there's a few links to Baton Rouge places.
1. Sketch your dream-house floor plan and talk about the possibilities for each room.
2. Write the story of how you met. Get it printed and bound.
3. List your spouse’s best qualities in alphabetical order.
4. Tour a museum or an art gallery.
5. Notice the little changes your spouse makes in his/her appearance.
6. Float on a raft together.
7. Take a stroll around the block – and hold hands as you walk.
8. Stock the cupboards with food your spouse loves to eat. (But ONLY if he or she ISN’T on a diet.)
9. Give your spouse a back rub.
10. Rent a classic love-story video (or go out to a movie) and watch it while cuddling.
11. Build a fire in the fireplace, turn out the lights and talk.
12. Take a horse-drawn carriage ride.
13. Go swimming in the middle of the night.
14. Write a poem for your spouse.
15. Remember to look into your spouse’s eyes as he/she tells you about the day.
16. Tell your spouse, “I’m glad I married you!”
17. Hug your spouse from behind and give him/her a kiss on the back of the neck.
18. Stop in the middle of your busy day and talk to your spouse for 15 minutes.
19. Create your own special holiday.
20. Do something your spouse loves to do, even though It doesn’t interest you personally.
21. Send your spouse a love letter.
22. Build a snowman together.
23. Watch the sunset together.
25. Picnic by a pond.
26. Give your mate a foot massage.
27. Put together a puzzle on a rainy evening.
28. Take a moonlight canoe ride.
29. Tell your spouse, “I’d rather be here with you than any place in the world.”
30. Whisper something romantic to your spouse in a crowded room.
31. Have a candlelight picnic in the backyard.
32. Perfume the bed sheets.
33. Serve breakfast in bed.
34. Reminisce through old photo albums.
35. Go away for the weekend.
36. Share a milk shake with two straws.
37. Kiss in the rain.
38. Brush his/her hair.
39. Ride the merry-go-round together.
40. Dedicate a song to her/him over the radio.
41. Wink and smile at your spouse from across the room.
42. Have a hot bubble bath ready for him/her at the end of a long day.
43. Buy new satin sheets.
44. Tenderly touch your spouse as you pass one another around the house.
45. Reminisce about your first date.
46. Plant a tree together in honor of your marriage.
47. Go kite flying.
48. Attend a sporting event you’ve never been to together.
49. Take time to think about him/her during the day, then share those thoughts.
50. Drop everything and do something for the one you love.
51. Dinner on the beach.
52. Eat in a jail cell – preferably not because you HAVE TO!
53. Progressive dinner – have a 7 course meal, but each course is in a different room, or house.
54. Paint balling
55. Go on a scavenger or Treasure hunt throughout town (I think this is now called Geocaching!)
56. Watch movies blind folded.
57. Go rock climbing.
58. Go fishing.
59. Set up a table and eat in the bed of a truck.
60. Eat on top of a bridge.
61. Go to a driving range.
62. Go “House Hunting” and check out all of the open houses – pretend that you are looking for a house.
63. Go hiking.
64. Go to the zoo.
65. Go Christmas Caroling – in August.
66. Do charity work together.
67. Go to Chuck E. Cheese.
68. Go mini golfing.
69. Have a picnic on top of a roof. Check out the stars while you are up there.
70. Feed the ducks or pigeons (depending on where you live).
71. Get 2 disposable cameras and take pictures all over town, then get them developed and make a mini scrapbook of your date.
72. Go to a video store. Walk in blindfolded and randomly choose a video off the shelf. Watch it.
73. Go out for ice cream.
74. Go get old fashion pictures taken.
75. Go to a fair or amusement park.
76. Go target or skeet shooting.
77. Dress up in Black-tie attire. Have dinner at McDonalds and go to a movie.
78. Get on a chat line together.
79. Get a tattoo together.
80. Make dinner together and eat it.
Hey - These are ONLY 80 ideas! If you have any to add, please feel free to make a comment! I LOVE Comments!
Nov 20, 2010
Date Night, Pt. 2: Bookstore Fun!
Lately, I have been searching for different things to do on Date Night with my Dahlin'. Frankly, I was getting bored with the standard dinner and a movie. I want to do other things. So, I've subscribed to different websites, such as The Romantic and Loving You, that directly email me ideas. Some of them get my creativity going...others...well, they go to File 13.
But there was this one idea that I came across that I thought was just so cute! So, tonight, I decided to spring it on the Dahlin'. I decided to surprise him with the Bookstore Date idea. After our dinner at Charlie's, we loaded up in the SUV and headed out to the nearest Barnes and Noble. Of course, Dahlin' had no idea where we were going. He was just the lowly driver turning left and right as I directed him. He's such a good chauffer!
We got parked right in front of Barnes and Noble and exited the SUV. We entered the store and then I sprung it on him. I handed him a list and promptly endured a look from him that said, "What are you up to?" I smiled and told him to complete set one and meet me over in the lounging area in 15 minutes with the books he had chosen.
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| At our first meeting, we discovered that we had picked up the same book!!! :D |
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| He found a recipe for a baby goat stew! Eww! I found one for Cornbread Sausage Pecan Dressing. Hmmm. |
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| Ummm, I'm not telling! |
For the last challenge, we were s'posed to
- Find a book that you once read in high school (for me that was White Fang).
- Find a book that has the words "Happily Ever After" in it (for me that was Snow White).
- Find a self help book that applies to you. (for me - well see the pic below).
HIS answer for all three requirements of the challenge?
He says he read it in high school....he swears it has the words "Happily Ever After" in it (though he couldn't show me)...and he claims it's his "self help" book. **rolling eyes** But I love him anyway! :D
Date Night, Pt 1: Charlie's
For our Date Night tonight, we decided to try out a local little hole in the wall place that we've know was there but we just haven't taken the time to experience. So....off we went to dine at Charlie's over in Springfield, LA. If there was a website for this little gem of a place, I would link it. But they don't have a website. They DO, however, have many reviews if you only Google it.
Charlie's seems to be quite the popular little place. When we arrived, there was a waiting line! We put our names on the list and were told it would be about 10 minutes or so before we could be seated. Once our waitress got us settled and returned to take our drink order, she was also kind enough to snap a little picture of us to document our first visit to their establishment.
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| Me and my Dahlin' |
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| The dining room |
I was absolutely flabbergasted with our waitress' speed upon her return with our drinks. When she set them down on the table, we told her we were ready to order. She whipped out that little notepad that waitresses use and stood at the ready with her pencil in the air. Once she got our order down, she disappeared again and before I could turn to say something to my husband, she was back with our salads. Doesn't this one look yummy?
While we had both ordered salads, I wanted to try a cup of seafood gumbo. What a treat! I ended up giving the last half of it to Dahlin' because I wanted to save room for the entree.
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| Seafood Gumbo |
After we enjoyed our salads and my gumbo, we were left to sit for a bit. I fully expected the waitress to return with our plates of steaming seafood in the same quick manner she had previously served us, but that didn't happen. Dahlin' and I conversed about the different plates we saw passing us by....humongous plates of stuff mushrooms, fried fish platters piled so high on the plate that it looked as if the tower of fish would topple right off and onto the floor. We were salivating for what was to come.
While we waited, we noticed a row of lights above the doors leading to the kitchen. Each light was a different color....red, yellow, green, and white. We also observed the waitresses who seemed to be assigned a particular light color. When the green light would shine, a waitress practically ran to the kitchen and came out with her arms piled high with food. It took a few moments before I realized that OUR waitress was apparently assigned to the red light. It lit up twice more before she came to our table with our dinner. I thought to myself, "What efficiency!"
Dahlin' order Charlie's Seafood Platter and as you can see from the pic, it was LOADED! I should've gotten a shot from the side so you could get the perspective of just how tall this was!
I played it safe with four grilled catfish fillets, six grilled shrimp, two hush puppies, bread, and fries. I also immediately asked for a "to-go" box because I knew there was no way I was gonna make a happy plate. |
| Charlie's Seafood Platter |
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| Grilled Catfish and Grilled Shrimp dinner |
In the end, this entire meal costs $48 and some change (minus the $6 tip we left). I would venture to say that given today's restaurant prices combined with efficient wait staff, our meal at Charlie's was worth every penny. They serve generous portions as well as tasty entrees and appetizer's. Compared to Baton Rouge's Brunet's Restaurant, they seem to be just as good (minus the atmosphere) and in a safer urban location (see my post on Date Night: Robbery Excitement). We will DEFINITELY be going back to try out some of their newer additions to the menu.
Oct 15, 2009
Date Night: Copeland's
The hubby came home a little earlier than usual tonight and said, "Honey, do you have plans for tonight?" After thinking a second, it dawned on me that .... NO! I didn't have any plans! No choir practice, no piano lessons, no handbells, no Boy Scouts, nothing!!! Woo Hoo! and so I told him..."No, I don't have plans. Why?"
He says, "Wanna go out?" How romantic huh? "Wanna go out?" .... to which I delightedly answered, "Why Shore!!!"
So, we leave the little ones in charge of the older ones and we head out for a dinner without all the leg tugging and "can I have a bite?"s. Not sure of our destination, we just hit the interstate and pointed the surburban to the west. Hubby mentioned that he was in the mood for some decent seafood. In light of a previous date night experience, he opted to avoid our favorite restaurant, instead choosing a restaurant that we'd never been to.
We ended up at Copeland's of New Orleans over on Essen Lane in Baton Rouge where we were greeted and seated within seconds! Shortly after we were seated (and I do mean very shortly), our waiter, Bryan, joined us to take our drink orders. There were no little containers of sugar, Sweet N Low, or Equal packets on the table....only a drink menu, a candle, and salt & pepper shakers. Nothing else. Honey ordered a draft beer while I ordered a southern sweet tea. If I had spied the previously mentioned packets of artificial sweeteners, I would have ordered an unsweetened tea and used the pink stuff.
Bryan then asked us if we wanted an appetizer to start off with. I chose the Bayou Broccoli since it just looked like an interesting name. I don't have a photo of this appetizer but trust me when I tell you it was delish!!!! The Bayou Broccoli is a ball of broccoli, bacon, and cheese, all rolled up and then deep fried and served with a dipping sauce. They serve 7 of these little hush puppy sized balls. At a cost of $7.49 for this appetizer, that comes to just over $1 per ball. However, they are well worth it! Yum Yum!!!
Hubby chose the Copeland's Famous Fried Seafood Platter ($22.99) which comes with Golden fried oysters (seasonal), shrimp, crawfish tails, crabcake and thin crispy catfish also served with French Fries, thin sliced Onion Rings, and garlic bread. I could not believe the size of this plate when it was set down in front of my husband!! The following photos were taken with hubby's cell phone. Once I purchase my new camera, I will certainly take better quality pictures.
He says, "Wanna go out?" How romantic huh? "Wanna go out?" .... to which I delightedly answered, "Why Shore!!!"
So, we leave the little ones in charge of the older ones and we head out for a dinner without all the leg tugging and "can I have a bite?"s. Not sure of our destination, we just hit the interstate and pointed the surburban to the west. Hubby mentioned that he was in the mood for some decent seafood. In light of a previous date night experience, he opted to avoid our favorite restaurant, instead choosing a restaurant that we'd never been to.
We ended up at Copeland's of New Orleans over on Essen Lane in Baton Rouge where we were greeted and seated within seconds! Shortly after we were seated (and I do mean very shortly), our waiter, Bryan, joined us to take our drink orders. There were no little containers of sugar, Sweet N Low, or Equal packets on the table....only a drink menu, a candle, and salt & pepper shakers. Nothing else. Honey ordered a draft beer while I ordered a southern sweet tea. If I had spied the previously mentioned packets of artificial sweeteners, I would have ordered an unsweetened tea and used the pink stuff.
Bryan then asked us if we wanted an appetizer to start off with. I chose the Bayou Broccoli since it just looked like an interesting name. I don't have a photo of this appetizer but trust me when I tell you it was delish!!!! The Bayou Broccoli is a ball of broccoli, bacon, and cheese, all rolled up and then deep fried and served with a dipping sauce. They serve 7 of these little hush puppy sized balls. At a cost of $7.49 for this appetizer, that comes to just over $1 per ball. However, they are well worth it! Yum Yum!!!
Hubby chose the Copeland's Famous Fried Seafood Platter ($22.99) which comes with Golden fried oysters (seasonal), shrimp, crawfish tails, crabcake and thin crispy catfish also served with French Fries, thin sliced Onion Rings, and garlic bread. I could not believe the size of this plate when it was set down in front of my husband!! The following photos were taken with hubby's cell phone. Once I purchase my new camera, I will certainly take better quality pictures.
It was my turn next to order my dinner. Knowing that I could not possibly eat as much as my hubby, I chose to experience the Crabcakes and Shrimp Alredo plate which features two fried crabcakes and a handful of shrimp on a bed of angel hair pasta topped with a light shrimp alfredo sauce with a homemade biscuit on the side. May I just say, OH My God!!! this is GOOOOOOOODDD!!! Much more than I could possibly eat. In fact, I picked out the shrimp and ate one of the crabcakes, giving the other one to hubby. The pasta was just the right texture with just the right amount of sauce.
After enjoying all that good southern food, I could not resist tasting one of Copeland's main attractions. A slice of their cheesecake. Hubby said he just didn't have room for dessert but I was determined to try this cheesecake. I ordered the Signature Cheesecake, Copeland's original cheesecake recipe with a buttery pecan crust. With several toppings to choose from, I chose the raspberry sauce. When Bryan served it, he informed me that they usually put whipped cream on top but the whipped cream machine had malfunctioned tonight. I guess that means that I'll have to do without it. After my first bite, I thought, "Who cares about whipped cream! This stuff reminds me of that scene with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in When Harry Met Sally." You know the scene, in the restaurant, where she fakes the .... well, you know! The bottom line is .... I have never in my life ever put anything on my tongue that tastes this good! I didn't even have to chew it. I just let it sit there and melt. Absolute heaven!
After dinner, hubby decided that he wasn't in the mood for our regular after dinner movie. Therefore, we ended up in the toy department at Target, playing with anything that would respond to a pressed button here or a pulled string there. The Toy Story toys are my favorite!!! I ended up pulling out a pen and paper to make a Christmas list for the girls. But ultimately, what fun we had in the toy department acting like little kids again without having the little kids along reminding us to behave like adults!Then, we headed home. Hubby does still have to go to work tomorrow. I couldn't keep him out all night ya know.
So, there ya go, our date night. If you are ever in the Baton Rouge area, be sure to visit Copeland's for some fine Southern dining!
Sep 29, 2009
I'm the WHAT?
My husband had to go work out of town for one evening two weeks ago. While there, he called me up and we chatted a bit about things. Since I was feeling a little down and unattractive, I voiced that to him. I've been feeling this way for a while due to being overweight, something I'm trying (again) to do something about. Anyway, we had the following lighthearted conversation.
I said something to the effect of, "I love you!"
He said, "No you don't, you just like spending my money."
I replied, "Okay, I'll agree with that."
Then he said, "I love YOU."
I replied, "No you don't, you just like going away to make that money I like to spend."
Then he said, "You know I love you. I think you're beautiful in every way."
To which I replied, "Hmmph".
Then he said, "Honey, you are the jaaaam in my jellyroll!" to which I was struck speechless for a second or two and then I said, "What? I'm the jam in your jellyroll? What kind of movies have you been watching?"
It was really funny to me at the time! LOL Even funnier is that this occurred 2 weeks ago and that is still stickin' with me!
He doesn't bring me flowers or candy very often or romance me in ways the fellas in the movies do, but every now and then he'll say something like that.
He'll take the girls out for a spin on the fourwheeler and return with bouquets of black eyed susans from the roadside ditch. This past Sunday morning, I was even woken up to a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and a cup of V8 juice (my first South Beach diet breakfast) in BED!!!
It's the little things he does for me that make me realize just how much he loves me and this family. He really rocks!!!
I said something to the effect of, "I love you!"
He said, "No you don't, you just like spending my money."
I replied, "Okay, I'll agree with that."
Then he said, "I love YOU."
I replied, "No you don't, you just like going away to make that money I like to spend."
Then he said, "You know I love you. I think you're beautiful in every way."
To which I replied, "Hmmph".
Then he said, "Honey, you are the jaaaam in my jellyroll!" to which I was struck speechless for a second or two and then I said, "What? I'm the jam in your jellyroll? What kind of movies have you been watching?"
It was really funny to me at the time! LOL Even funnier is that this occurred 2 weeks ago and that is still stickin' with me!
He doesn't bring me flowers or candy very often or romance me in ways the fellas in the movies do, but every now and then he'll say something like that.
He'll take the girls out for a spin on the fourwheeler and return with bouquets of black eyed susans from the roadside ditch. This past Sunday morning, I was even woken up to a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and a cup of V8 juice (my first South Beach diet breakfast) in BED!!!
It's the little things he does for me that make me realize just how much he loves me and this family. He really rocks!!!
May 29, 2009
Date Night: Robbery Excitement
DH had been calling me several times during the day. Did I want to go out with him tonight? I was excited! Usually, I'm the one planning our dates. However, today, it was him! We decided to go out to a local restaurant that's been in the area forwhat seems like FOREVER! Brunet's Cajun Restaurant.
This place has wonderful fried seafood with a Cajun flair. The service is great, the atmosphere is relaxed, the food is outstanding, the helpings are overwhelmingly generous! If you are a fried seafood fan, this is the place for you. Although, there are SOME healthy options on the menu as well.Your waiter will start off with your drinks, followed by a bowl of hot hush puppies (fried bread). Then she/he will take your dinner order.
One of my FAVORITE appetizers is the Little Stuffed Bread. It looks like a dinner roll stuffed with a filling of crawfish or shrimp and then deep fried. Absolutely to die for!!! If you want a simple meal without all the calories, just ask for the Little Stuffed Bread with a salad and a bowl of gumbo and you're set!
I LOVE the shrimp dinner. It comes with a shrimp salad, bowl of gumbo, shrimp etoufee, fried shrimp, boiled shrimp, shrimp au gratin, 1 stuffed shrimp, and another bowl of shrimpy something but the name escapes me right now. Be sure to ask for a to go box when your meal is served because there is no way you're gonna clean your plate in one sitting.
Our tummies full of not so healthy fried Cajun seafood and several glasses of iced tea, DH and I exit the restaurant to head home. Since he'd been driving all day for his job, he opted to be a passenger instead. We got to my surburban where I got into the driver's side seat. He opened the back passenger side door and noticed the glass. My purse was gone. The purse that I had THOUGHT about taking inside with me but decided against because....after all....there's nothing in that thing that anybody could actually want! Hah!
He says, "Where's your purse?" and I turned to see him and all the glass and I say, "Where's my purse!!!???" Then he says, "Cynthia, go inside and talk to the manager. I'm calling the police." An hour later, we're still patiently waiting for an officer to arrive. In the meantime, hubs had his copies of all credit cards so we spent our time on the phone getting all accounts closed/cancelled. That part wasn't that difficult. It's a good thing he had his cards with him. I was more concerned about my checkbook, son's social security benefit check that I hadn't deposited yet, and much, much later I remembered that my wedding ring was in that purse! I didn't have much cash in the purse as I had just emptied it of all pocket change. My GPS navigator was also taken. My bank debit cards were in my back pocket since they are what I use MOST of the time.
The officer arrives, we file the report, officer R. Simoneaux goes down into the canal that runs alongside the restaurant. He shines his flashlight around a bit and looks for my brown purse that's gonna miraculously appear in the dark weeds.
At this point, I'm livid and shaking. I even felt a bit nauseous. If I could only get my hands around the neck of the jerk, kid, drug addict, whoever.....Why do I feel this way? It's only a purse! I can certainly relate to the vigilantes of the world now!
The report filed, the theories discussed, we said our goodnight's to the officer and headed home. FINALLY. Arriving home, the very first thing I do is sit down at the computer and began researching what to do about stolen social security numbers. Learning that there's NOTHING you can do through Social Security . gov, I start looking up the credit bureau info.
I'm concentrating on that at 11:45 p.m. when my house telephone rings. Not recognizing the number on Caller ID, I ALMOST didn't answer it. But curiosity got the better of me.
"Hello?"
"Is this Mrs. Cynthia?"
"Yes it is"
"My name is Chris and my wife and I found.....Did you lose a purse?"
Me, excitedly...."YES, YES I DID!"
Chris proceeds to inform me that he and his wife were looking for moving boxes in dumpsters and he found my purse sitting on the top of a lot of garbage about 3 blocks away from the restaurant!!! He told me that he had gotten my phone number off the checkbook.
So, anyway, to make a long, long story short....My purse was returned to me approx 4 hours after it was stolen. Checkbook, credit cards, and son's undeposited Soc Sec check were still in it. My wedding band, ALL cash (even down to whatever pennies was in there), and the GPS navigator are still missing.
Now, off to file a claim with the insurance company to get that back window replaced.
Ahhhh, date night with hubby. I think it'll be a while before we go out again.
This place has wonderful fried seafood with a Cajun flair. The service is great, the atmosphere is relaxed, the food is outstanding, the helpings are overwhelmingly generous! If you are a fried seafood fan, this is the place for you. Although, there are SOME healthy options on the menu as well.Your waiter will start off with your drinks, followed by a bowl of hot hush puppies (fried bread). Then she/he will take your dinner order.
One of my FAVORITE appetizers is the Little Stuffed Bread. It looks like a dinner roll stuffed with a filling of crawfish or shrimp and then deep fried. Absolutely to die for!!! If you want a simple meal without all the calories, just ask for the Little Stuffed Bread with a salad and a bowl of gumbo and you're set!
I LOVE the shrimp dinner. It comes with a shrimp salad, bowl of gumbo, shrimp etoufee, fried shrimp, boiled shrimp, shrimp au gratin, 1 stuffed shrimp, and another bowl of shrimpy something but the name escapes me right now. Be sure to ask for a to go box when your meal is served because there is no way you're gonna clean your plate in one sitting.
Our tummies full of not so healthy fried Cajun seafood and several glasses of iced tea, DH and I exit the restaurant to head home. Since he'd been driving all day for his job, he opted to be a passenger instead. We got to my surburban where I got into the driver's side seat. He opened the back passenger side door and noticed the glass. My purse was gone. The purse that I had THOUGHT about taking inside with me but decided against because....after all....there's nothing in that thing that anybody could actually want! Hah!
He says, "Where's your purse?" and I turned to see him and all the glass and I say, "Where's my purse!!!???" Then he says, "Cynthia, go inside and talk to the manager. I'm calling the police." An hour later, we're still patiently waiting for an officer to arrive. In the meantime, hubs had his copies of all credit cards so we spent our time on the phone getting all accounts closed/cancelled. That part wasn't that difficult. It's a good thing he had his cards with him. I was more concerned about my checkbook, son's social security benefit check that I hadn't deposited yet, and much, much later I remembered that my wedding ring was in that purse! I didn't have much cash in the purse as I had just emptied it of all pocket change. My GPS navigator was also taken. My bank debit cards were in my back pocket since they are what I use MOST of the time.
The officer arrives, we file the report, officer R. Simoneaux goes down into the canal that runs alongside the restaurant. He shines his flashlight around a bit and looks for my brown purse that's gonna miraculously appear in the dark weeds.
At this point, I'm livid and shaking. I even felt a bit nauseous. If I could only get my hands around the neck of the jerk, kid, drug addict, whoever.....Why do I feel this way? It's only a purse! I can certainly relate to the vigilantes of the world now!
The report filed, the theories discussed, we said our goodnight's to the officer and headed home. FINALLY. Arriving home, the very first thing I do is sit down at the computer and began researching what to do about stolen social security numbers. Learning that there's NOTHING you can do through Social Security . gov, I start looking up the credit bureau info.
I'm concentrating on that at 11:45 p.m. when my house telephone rings. Not recognizing the number on Caller ID, I ALMOST didn't answer it. But curiosity got the better of me.
"Hello?"
"Is this Mrs. Cynthia?"
"Yes it is"
"My name is Chris and my wife and I found.....Did you lose a purse?"
Me, excitedly...."YES, YES I DID!"
Chris proceeds to inform me that he and his wife were looking for moving boxes in dumpsters and he found my purse sitting on the top of a lot of garbage about 3 blocks away from the restaurant!!! He told me that he had gotten my phone number off the checkbook.
So, anyway, to make a long, long story short....My purse was returned to me approx 4 hours after it was stolen. Checkbook, credit cards, and son's undeposited Soc Sec check were still in it. My wedding band, ALL cash (even down to whatever pennies was in there), and the GPS navigator are still missing.
Now, off to file a claim with the insurance company to get that back window replaced.
Ahhhh, date night with hubby. I think it'll be a while before we go out again.
Feb 14, 2009
"My Husband Rocks" Fridays
Late, late last night as I was trying to get a stuffy headed kid to sleep, I saw this commercial on TV. It started out with a fella and his girlfriend, strolling along while holding hands. He stops, gets down on one knee and proceeds to propose to her. She responds by getting this horrified look on her face and pulls away from him. Along comes a "knight in shining armor" if you will, to rescue her from this proposterous proposal. He K.O.'s the proposer. Then he turns to address the camera and begins his dialogue with something like, "Marriage is the leading cause of divorce." He goes on to advertise an online hook up site for those single persons who don't want a serious relationship. I thought to myself, "What in the world?" What's this world coming to? Oh, yeah, I forgot, it's the lack of mutual respect between to people. It's the "live and let live", "every man for himself", "It's all about ME!" attitudes.What does the above have to do with the following? I dunno. I just thought I'd mention it. So, anyway, I found this Meme while blog surfing. I decided that it would be a great way to focus on some of my husband's positive traits if only once a week. Katy Lin was inspired to start this weekly lifting up of her husband and has invited married bloggers everywhere to do the same. Every Friday, she says she will post a story, photo, or quote about how her husband rocks.
I started mine with Our 1st Valentine's post yesterday. I hope to continue this every Friday. I might even start doing the Love Dare, but I'll save those thoughts for another post.
Jan 23, 2009
My Knight
My husband is the greatest! He got up this morning very early to get some reports done before taking off to New Iberia to do some welding inspections. At 5:30 a.m. my oldest daughter woke up to head out to work. She was supposed to be there at 6:30 a.m. She walked out to her boyfriend's car (he loaned it to her for a while) and the thing wouldn't start. She came right back in and announced to hubs that there was something wrong with the car, she couldn't get the key to turn. He put his reports on hold while he went out and looked at it for a while. He couldn't immediately figure out what was wrong with it. He came in after a few minutes and told me that he was taking her to work. It's a 15 mile drive one way to her office. Therefore, this task of taking her to work took 30 miles and about 45 minutes of travel time out of his day.
As soon as he returned, he gets back on the computer to get those reports finished. About 15 minutes later, my dad comes in. Seems he was doing some work next door hauling a little trailer load of broken cement to put in some holes in his driveway. Anyway, he backed up wrong or something and ended up putting his Xterra in the ditch...thus getting it stuck. He comes to see if my hubby can help pull his truck out of the mud. My husband again puts his reports on hold and goes out to help a member of my family who had gotten themselves into a bind.
Now, I happen to know that he was aggravated to start with due to the reports that he had to get done. Combine that with the fact that the format the reports are in aren't conducive to hubby's computer skills. But he put all that hold (he probably really needed the break) to "rescue" my daughter and shortly after that "rescue" my dad.
As much as I complain about my hubby, (well, maybe not here but definitely to other friends) it's times like these that he shows his true colors and reveals to me the knight in shining armor that he truly is. He is such a cool guy! I just LOVE him!!!
As soon as he returned, he gets back on the computer to get those reports finished. About 15 minutes later, my dad comes in. Seems he was doing some work next door hauling a little trailer load of broken cement to put in some holes in his driveway. Anyway, he backed up wrong or something and ended up putting his Xterra in the ditch...thus getting it stuck. He comes to see if my hubby can help pull his truck out of the mud. My husband again puts his reports on hold and goes out to help a member of my family who had gotten themselves into a bind.
Now, I happen to know that he was aggravated to start with due to the reports that he had to get done. Combine that with the fact that the format the reports are in aren't conducive to hubby's computer skills. But he put all that hold (he probably really needed the break) to "rescue" my daughter and shortly after that "rescue" my dad.
As much as I complain about my hubby, (well, maybe not here but definitely to other friends) it's times like these that he shows his true colors and reveals to me the knight in shining armor that he truly is. He is such a cool guy! I just LOVE him!!!
Jan 10, 2009
Date Night: Overnighter!
Had dinner at Don's Seafood Hut. DH had the seafood platter and I gorged myself on the Shrimp Platter.
We then discussed going to see a movie but decided that due to our distended bellies, we needed to exercise some of our dinner away. So, off to play some mini golf. We played 2 games. I won the first one on the EASY course. Then he beat the socks off me on the MODERATE course. Makes me wanna go, "Hmmmmmm."
Then we had brekkie at Cracker Barrel old country store. Again, I gorged myself and have decided to start my Nutrisystem stuff again. Just as soon as I get all my cravings out of the way.
Well, that's it for our date night. It sure was good to get away from the kiddos for a while!
Nov 16, 2008
How We Met
At the ripe old age of 27, I had just gone through a divorce and was feeling kinda lonely. Our local newspaper used to have a personal ad section where one could place an ad and be assigned a voice mail box. Interested persons could call the listed phone number and access the voice mail box to leave a message. Well, I placed an ad. Actually, I placed a couple of ads. The first one read something like:
Scarlett seeks her Rhett – SWF yada yada yada
I had a strategy when I would respond to the fellas who responded to my ad.
Step 1: Use a payphone to return their call in order to prevent any weirdos from finding my residence through Caller ID.
Step 2: If he sounded nice, agree to a meeting. If he sounded strange or had strange ideas, end of conversation.
Step 3: Meeting the fella involved some deception, yeah yeah, I know….what a way to start a relationship, but I felt justified due to the many weirdos I had met. Anyway, they would usually suggest meeting over a cup of coffee at McDonald’s or Denny’s.
I would tell them to meet me outside by a newspaper stand, or something else that I had previously chosen, at a certain time. I would tell them I’d be driving a brown Chevy Nova. The truth is, I was driving a tiny baby blue Toyota Corolla. When I pulled up in the parking lot, I could spot him looking for me. He wasn’t hard to miss. If he looked a bit odd or creepy in anyway, I kept going and never looked back. Since he was looking for a Chevy Nova, he didn’t know it was me. He would also never hear from me again. I justified this move by telling myself that I’ve been stood up so much, why not turn the tables a bit? What's good for the Gander is good for the Goose, right?
If he appeared to be an okay guy, then I would stop and go through with the meeting. I’d explain the different car by telling him my Chevy Nova had issues and I had to borrow my sister’s car or something like that. It wasn’t exactly a lie. I did have a Chevy Nova sitting in the back yard at my dad’s house. It didn’t run anymore. I hadn’t driven it in over a year.
Okay, so, we’d meet and talk etc. Usually, I’d see him again once or twice but then I’d find some flaw I didn’t care for.
Fast forward a year, I had placed another ad. This one read, “Husband Wanted” and I listed the specifics I was looking for in a man. Things like, "must make $60,000 + per year", "must love children, pets, and outdoor activities, etc". You know, specific criteria that he must meet for the job of being my husband. Sort of like a classified ad for a new employee. I got a LOT of replies to this ad and to my surprise many were from police officers or men in other areas of caregiving (i.e. firefighters, paramedics, etc.). BUT there was this one man who called and left a message on my voice mail. There was something about his voice, about the way he spoke with calmness and assurity that attracted me.
I called him back, using my previously mentioned telephone routine. After a few pay phone conversations, I felt comfortable enough to give him my home phone number. For two weeks, we conversed every night after I put my then 7 y.o. daughter and 1 y.o. son to bed. Finally, he asked me to meet him for dinner at Mulate’s. I was so excited! MULATE’S! I was so impressed! He was the first to ever suggest a REAL restaurant vs. Denny’s, McDonald’s, or Waffle House! Although I was a little hesitant, I agreed to meet him. We prepared ourselves for a disappointing first meeting….well, I did anyway. We decided that if “sparks” didn’t fly, we could still consider ourselves good friends having a dinner together.
At 8 p.m. that Friday night, I drove up in my little blue Toyota Corolla. I saw a nice looking gentleman sitting on the tailgate of his pick up truck in the parking lot, under one of the lights, just as I had requested. I parked across from him but positioned my little Toyota so that I could adjust my rear view mirror to check him out a little more while I touched up my lipstick.
I looked around the parking lot and didn’t see anyone else looking like they were waiting for someone. I decided this must be the man I had been conversing with on the phone. That …. and the fact that he was sitting on the tailgate of the truck he described to me.
Finally, I got brave enough to exit my car and approach him. He was looking at his feet. He was wearing cowboy boots, Wrangler jeans, and a nice striped Wrangler western style shirt. No hat. He was a bit taller than me and made me feel small and delicate. So far, so good!
So I walk up to him, ducking my head a little to look up at him and I say, “Are you the one I’m looking for?”. He looks up, smiles at me with a twinkle in his bright blue eyes, places his hand over his heart, and replies, “God, I sure hope so!”. Wow, that was it. I was sunk. Right then and there! I had passed the point of no return!
We went into the restaurant and took our sweet time eating our dinner. I can’t remember what he ordered, and I can’t remember the name of what I ordered. However, it was fried catfish smothered with crawfish etouffee’. Yummy! We ate some, danced a little to the music that was provided by a Cajun band, and we talked a lot more. He asked me about my Toyota and why I was driving it instead of the Chevy. There was just something about him….I told him about my scheme. I didn’t feel the need to lie to him at all. Just tell him the truth, openly and honestly. Though he didn’t approve of a false beginning, he did understand my position.
We had previously agreed that if there were no “sparks” when we met, then we would end our date and consider that we had made a new friend. If there WERE “sparks”, we would continue with our time together by going to see a movie. As we left the restaurant, I was feeling a little like this attraction was only one-sided even after the positive beginning to the evening. He was walking ahead of me, not beside me, and I was beginning to turn toward my car. As I took a few steps in that direction, I told him that it was nice to have met him and I said good night. He got this “What?” look on his face before reaching for my hand and asking, “Weren’t we going to see a movie?” to which I replied, “Well, sure, I guess!”
Leaving my car in the restaurant parking lot, we rode in his truck off to the movie theatre to see Forrest Gump. I had already seen the movie three times but I was looking forward to seeing it again with him. We arrived at the movie theatre a bit early. We bought the tickets and went to our seats where we waited until the lights went down and the movie began. While we waited, we had yet another deep conversation …. about footwear! All kinds and styles of footwear! Boots, tennis shoes, sandals, heels, hiking shoes, etc. During the movie, since I'd seen it 3 times, I kind of knew the script a little and kept leaning over to say the words just before the actor said them. He didn't say anything to me about it but kept giving me one of those "I'm gonna get you back for that" looks. After the movie, we went for dessert at yet another restaurant, walked on the river walk downtown, and spent some time at the casino. Suddenly it was 3 a.m.!! It was time for this Cinderella to go home!
To make a long story short, we were married on his birthday, Nov. 15, 1997. He said he couldn’t ask for a better birthday gift. Now isn’t that just the sweetest thing!?
Nov 3, 2008
Creative and Frugal Dating Ideas
After having just finished a bible study at church (Men are like Waffles, Women are Spaghetti), I felt inspired to share a few ideas on creative dating. If you’ve read any of my earlier posts, you will find that I tend to whine about my husband’s faults. However, he has his good points too. After all, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him if he didn’t. He is a good man and provider for our little family. He’s also pretty romantic and makes time for us to have date nights at least once a month. Here are some ideas for other couples out there who have gotten tired of the same ol’ dinner and movie type dates.
1. Go Hiking. Bring a picnic lunch or dinner.
2. Pretend you’re looking to buy an expensive house and go to open houses. You may want to research for some ahead of time.
3. Explore a local flea market.
4. Get disposable cameras and go sight-seeing in your town.
5. Ride the bus around the city.
6. Have a dinner of miniature foods. Eat on small plates.
7. Read children’s books to each other at the library.
8. Have a progressive fast food dinner (Breadsticks @ Fazoli’s, Salad @ Wendy’s, etc.)
9. Create thank you cards and mail them to servicemen.
10. Go to the parish courthouse and watch a trial in session.
11. Take a tour of a local factory. Call ahead for an appointment.
12. Go out to breakfast on a weekday before work. To save even more, take breakfast with you for a picnic.
13. Go to a wedding reception for someone you don’t know.
14. Take a nature walk and collect bits of what you see. Make a collage or vase arrangement.
15. Use the internet to find an interesting museum.
16. Donate blood together.
17. Go to an interesting location like a gazebo, a park lake, or parking lot and order a pizza.
18. Buy flowers, take them home, and make arrangements together.
19. If you have a downtown area in your city, hang out there on a Saturday. Visit a café for lunch and browse the shops.
20. Fly kites.
21. Be kids again. Play hopscotch, go to a park, order happy meals, etc.
22. Put together an obstacle course or crazy Olympics.
23. Go to a conservatory if there is one in your area.
24. Take a drive РIf you live in a big city, drive out of town to a more rural location. Have a picnic or eat at a small caf̩.
25. Watch the stars. You could go on a normal night or plan ahead to see a meteor shower or comet.
26. Go to a farm where you can pick your own fresh fruit. Take what you picked back home and make a pie or other dessert.
27. Write a script for a short movie, play, or musical. Videotape your production and watch your performance together.
28. Go to a performance at your local bookstore. Borders and Barnes & Noble both have small musical groups performing periodically – and it’s free!
29. Attend the local high school’s musical.
30. Chalk attack someone’s house. Use sidewalk chalk to write funny messages and draw silly pictures on the driveway and walkways.
31. Browse art galleries. The galleries that sell their art are usually free.
32. Take a visit to your state’s capitol. Take a guided tour, or just walk around and read monuments.
33. Go for a bike ride.
34. Go to a public place. Take turns painting pictures of each other, while the other person poses as the subject.?
35. Take a video camera with you and interview people off the streets. You could make it funny by asking questions everyone should know the answer to, like: “Who is the vice president of the United States?” You might be surprised at the answers you get!
36. Play a sport together (tennis, soccer, basketball, etc.)
37. Volunteer together at a homeless shelter or food bank. Look for listings in the phone book or call to ask if they need help.
38. Take turns teaching each other something new. For instance, one person could teach how to change a flat tire, and the other could teach how to make a favorite dessert.
39. Find a muddy area, dress in shabby clothes, and have a mud fight.
40. Go to a poetry reading. You could even participate if you want to.
41. Wash your cars together.
42. Play video games.
43. Go to the mall or a thrift store and try on outrageous clothes that you would never buy.
44. Have your own decathalon. Some ideas for events are: hula hoops, jumprope, foot-racing, crab walks, etc.
45. Have your own private dance in a parking lot. Turn the music on in your car and leave the doors open. (My honey actually did this in the middle of a country road on a sunshiney day...the song was Tracy Byrd's "Keeper of the Stars!")
46. Go to a video arcade.
47. Feed the ducks at a lake.
48. Have a night-in watching a romantic movie and feeding each other strawberries.
49. If you don’t have kids of your own, borrow someone else’s! Take a kid to the park to play!
50. Visit waterfalls – Put a map together of nearby waterfalls and spend your day hiking to each one. Bring a picnic lunch and eat beside a waterfall. (Tunica Hills has waterfalls!)
51. Go Fishing in the Dark – Head out on a boat for romantic fishing by moonlight.
52. Spa Night – Have a spa night together, complete with massages, oils, and sensual bubble baths.
53. WalMart Toys – Go to a 24 hour walmart late at night and play with the toys and chase each other around (with toy guns, etc.)
54. Garden Together – Get outdoors and dirty. Gardening is peaceful, relaxing, and a perfect activity to share with someone you love. If there’s still a chill in the air where you live, move the gardening indoors. Plant something together and watch it grow, just like your love for each other. Awwww.
55. Ice Skating is always fun!
56. Football on TV – Pick up some takeout and cuddle on the couch during the game. Sneak a kiss for every first down. Or, for every point scored, take a pc of clothing off!
57. Play Tag – raise the stakes a with a game of strip tag. Whenever your tagged – a pc of clothing comes off!
58. Visit fountains – Put together a map of all the fountains in your city or a nearby bigger city then spend the afternoon visiting each fountain
59. Race remote control cars in the park – Winner picks your lunch date..
60. Send your honey on a scavenger hunt with him/her ending up at a hotel for an evening of romance for the two of you
There’s also a couple of really cool websites for you to browse for more ideas. Check out http://www.lovingyou.com/ and http://www.coolestdates.com/. Enjoy your time together!!
1. Go Hiking. Bring a picnic lunch or dinner.
2. Pretend you’re looking to buy an expensive house and go to open houses. You may want to research for some ahead of time.
3. Explore a local flea market.
4. Get disposable cameras and go sight-seeing in your town.
5. Ride the bus around the city.
6. Have a dinner of miniature foods. Eat on small plates.
7. Read children’s books to each other at the library.
8. Have a progressive fast food dinner (Breadsticks @ Fazoli’s, Salad @ Wendy’s, etc.)
9. Create thank you cards and mail them to servicemen.
10. Go to the parish courthouse and watch a trial in session.
11. Take a tour of a local factory. Call ahead for an appointment.
12. Go out to breakfast on a weekday before work. To save even more, take breakfast with you for a picnic.
13. Go to a wedding reception for someone you don’t know.
14. Take a nature walk and collect bits of what you see. Make a collage or vase arrangement.
15. Use the internet to find an interesting museum.
16. Donate blood together.
17. Go to an interesting location like a gazebo, a park lake, or parking lot and order a pizza.
18. Buy flowers, take them home, and make arrangements together.
19. If you have a downtown area in your city, hang out there on a Saturday. Visit a café for lunch and browse the shops.
20. Fly kites.
21. Be kids again. Play hopscotch, go to a park, order happy meals, etc.
22. Put together an obstacle course or crazy Olympics.
23. Go to a conservatory if there is one in your area.
24. Take a drive РIf you live in a big city, drive out of town to a more rural location. Have a picnic or eat at a small caf̩.
25. Watch the stars. You could go on a normal night or plan ahead to see a meteor shower or comet.
26. Go to a farm where you can pick your own fresh fruit. Take what you picked back home and make a pie or other dessert.
27. Write a script for a short movie, play, or musical. Videotape your production and watch your performance together.
28. Go to a performance at your local bookstore. Borders and Barnes & Noble both have small musical groups performing periodically – and it’s free!
29. Attend the local high school’s musical.
30. Chalk attack someone’s house. Use sidewalk chalk to write funny messages and draw silly pictures on the driveway and walkways.
31. Browse art galleries. The galleries that sell their art are usually free.
32. Take a visit to your state’s capitol. Take a guided tour, or just walk around and read monuments.
33. Go for a bike ride.
34. Go to a public place. Take turns painting pictures of each other, while the other person poses as the subject.?
35. Take a video camera with you and interview people off the streets. You could make it funny by asking questions everyone should know the answer to, like: “Who is the vice president of the United States?” You might be surprised at the answers you get!
36. Play a sport together (tennis, soccer, basketball, etc.)
37. Volunteer together at a homeless shelter or food bank. Look for listings in the phone book or call to ask if they need help.
38. Take turns teaching each other something new. For instance, one person could teach how to change a flat tire, and the other could teach how to make a favorite dessert.
39. Find a muddy area, dress in shabby clothes, and have a mud fight.
40. Go to a poetry reading. You could even participate if you want to.
41. Wash your cars together.
42. Play video games.
43. Go to the mall or a thrift store and try on outrageous clothes that you would never buy.
44. Have your own decathalon. Some ideas for events are: hula hoops, jumprope, foot-racing, crab walks, etc.
45. Have your own private dance in a parking lot. Turn the music on in your car and leave the doors open. (My honey actually did this in the middle of a country road on a sunshiney day...the song was Tracy Byrd's "Keeper of the Stars!")
46. Go to a video arcade.
47. Feed the ducks at a lake.
48. Have a night-in watching a romantic movie and feeding each other strawberries.
49. If you don’t have kids of your own, borrow someone else’s! Take a kid to the park to play!
50. Visit waterfalls – Put a map together of nearby waterfalls and spend your day hiking to each one. Bring a picnic lunch and eat beside a waterfall. (Tunica Hills has waterfalls!)
51. Go Fishing in the Dark – Head out on a boat for romantic fishing by moonlight.
52. Spa Night – Have a spa night together, complete with massages, oils, and sensual bubble baths.
53. WalMart Toys – Go to a 24 hour walmart late at night and play with the toys and chase each other around (with toy guns, etc.)
54. Garden Together – Get outdoors and dirty. Gardening is peaceful, relaxing, and a perfect activity to share with someone you love. If there’s still a chill in the air where you live, move the gardening indoors. Plant something together and watch it grow, just like your love for each other. Awwww.
55. Ice Skating is always fun!
56. Football on TV – Pick up some takeout and cuddle on the couch during the game. Sneak a kiss for every first down. Or, for every point scored, take a pc of clothing off!
57. Play Tag – raise the stakes a with a game of strip tag. Whenever your tagged – a pc of clothing comes off!
58. Visit fountains – Put together a map of all the fountains in your city or a nearby bigger city then spend the afternoon visiting each fountain
59. Race remote control cars in the park – Winner picks your lunch date..
60. Send your honey on a scavenger hunt with him/her ending up at a hotel for an evening of romance for the two of you
There’s also a couple of really cool websites for you to browse for more ideas. Check out http://www.lovingyou.com/ and http://www.coolestdates.com/. Enjoy your time together!!
Oct 25, 2008
Spiritual Leadership
I got up this morning about 8:30 a.m. I've been feeling a little down the past couple of days and blame it on the weather. However, today, I can't blame it on that because it's a nice, crisp, beautiful day outside. Anyway, I've been craving spiritual leadership in my home. I feel like I'm the only one doing anything around here. I don't mean to put down on my husband or anything. He's a good man, hard worker, does his part around the house, likes his Budweiser, Copenhagen, and LSU games. The stereotypical redneck fella. He's definitely not a spiritual man much less a leader. He's one of those Easter/Christmas christians.
I sat down with him to have a talk this morning. I told him that I'd been needing something from him for quite some time. Then I paused while I got my thoughts together. At the same time, I could feel him getting defensive. Then I told him what it is I've been needing....Spiritual Leadership in our home. His response? "You know that church just isn't my thing...." and then he started this "If you want me to do this for you then you have to do some things for me...." and off he goes on the housekeeping rant. Then he tells me to stop pushing. I have never pushed. I just mentioned it this time because it's been heavy on my heart lately.
All I want is daily prayer and devotionals with the children. Is that really too much to ask? I could do it myself but (and here's my excuse) I'm afraid I won't do it "right". Besides, I don't think that was the original design.
I guess I hope that later he'll start feeling convicted and WANT to go to church with us on a regular basis. I don't know. I told him that if he felt embarrassed to be in church that he could sit on the back row where no one will see him, except the other hubbies sitting back there.
Okay, that's all for now. I need to get off my behonkus and start cleaning house. We're planning a big yard sale next weekend at my mom's and I have a lot of work to do now. I wonder if I do a really good job today, will he go to church with me tomorrow?
I sat down with him to have a talk this morning. I told him that I'd been needing something from him for quite some time. Then I paused while I got my thoughts together. At the same time, I could feel him getting defensive. Then I told him what it is I've been needing....Spiritual Leadership in our home. His response? "You know that church just isn't my thing...." and then he started this "If you want me to do this for you then you have to do some things for me...." and off he goes on the housekeeping rant. Then he tells me to stop pushing. I have never pushed. I just mentioned it this time because it's been heavy on my heart lately.
All I want is daily prayer and devotionals with the children. Is that really too much to ask? I could do it myself but (and here's my excuse) I'm afraid I won't do it "right". Besides, I don't think that was the original design.
I guess I hope that later he'll start feeling convicted and WANT to go to church with us on a regular basis. I don't know. I told him that if he felt embarrassed to be in church that he could sit on the back row where no one will see him, except the other hubbies sitting back there.
Okay, that's all for now. I need to get off my behonkus and start cleaning house. We're planning a big yard sale next weekend at my mom's and I have a lot of work to do now. I wonder if I do a really good job today, will he go to church with me tomorrow?
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