2018, Jul 9 - Love Worms

Hey baby!  I sure do miss you.  I feel you nearby sometimes.  So close I can almost feel your hand in mine.  And then there are times when I really NEED to feel you close and you aren't there.  I need your advice, my love.  On many things.  So many things!

I'm not doing well.  Back in May, I was the high morals piano playing Church lady.  I felt like I was under too much pressure at the piano, so I stepped down.  When I did that, I felt like a house had been lifted offa me.  Then, I started behaving badly.  I started going out to bars.  Looking for quick companionship, dancing partners, or something.  Looking back on the last few weeks though, I think I've danced about 4 dances.  So, the dancing partner thing doesn't seem to be working out.  

I met someone who has take up space in my brain for a few weeks.  I realized this weekend that you would not like him.  In fact, you would call him your favorite word ... you would call him a WORM.  I call him a WEASEL.  Either way, he has not been good for me and I know it.  I have made a mistake allowing him into my life.  So, now he's gone.

I just miss you so badly.  I want you back but I know it's impossible and you are unavailable.  The loneliness without you is so very hard to explain!  I never imagined that it could be this lonely.  Even when I went through that divorce before we met!  It wasn't THIS bad!  

I miss your lips, I kissed at night,
The warmth of your body up next to me tight!
The love we once shared I'll never forget!
The chance I took I'll never regret!
Finding love again is a tough call!
I feel like this woman has put up a wall!!
I know no two people are exactly the same,
If I don't find love again, I know I'm to blame!!
So help me God to try and understand
Gimme a sign, or a lending hand!!
I've tried to move on and tried to let go!!
But my love for my husband always will show!!

I love you so much my Charlie.