How We Met

At the ripe old age of 27, I had just gone through a divorce and was feeling kinda lonely. Our local newspaper used to have a personal ad section where one could place an ad and be assigned a voice mail box. Interested persons could call the listed phone number and access the voice mail box to leave a message. Well, I placed an ad. Actually, I placed a couple of ads. The first one read something like:

Scarlett seeks her Rhett – SWF yada yada yada

I had a strategy when I would respond to the fellas who responded to my ad.
Step 1: Use a payphone to return their call in order to prevent any weirdos from finding my residence through Caller ID.
Step 2: If he sounded nice, agree to a meeting. If he sounded strange or had strange ideas, end of conversation.
Step 3: Meeting the fella involved some deception, yeah yeah, I know….what a way to start a relationship, but I felt justified due to the many weirdos I had met. Anyway, they would usually suggest meeting over a cup of coffee at McDonald’s or Denny’s.

I would tell them to meet me outside by a newspaper stand, or something else that I had previously chosen, at a certain time. I would tell them I’d be driving a brown Chevy Nova. The truth is, I was driving a tiny baby blue Toyota Corolla. When I pulled up in the parking lot, I could spot him looking for me. He wasn’t hard to miss. If he looked a bit odd or creepy in anyway, I kept going and never looked back. Since he was looking for a Chevy Nova, he didn’t know it was me. He would also never hear from me again. I justified this move by telling myself that I’ve been stood up so much, why not turn the tables a bit?  What's good for the Gander is good for the Goose, right?

If he appeared to be an okay guy, then I would stop and go through with the meeting. I’d explain the different car by telling him my Chevy Nova had issues and I had to borrow my sister’s car or something like that. It wasn’t exactly a lie. I did have a Chevy Nova sitting in the back yard at my dad’s house. It didn’t run anymore. I hadn’t driven it in over a year.

Okay, so, we’d meet and talk etc. Usually, I’d see him again once or twice but then I’d find some flaw I didn’t care for.


Fast forward a year, I had placed another ad. This one read, “Husband Wanted” and I listed the specifics I was looking for in a man.  Things like, "must make $60,000 + per year", "must love children, pets, and outdoor activities, etc". You know, specific criteria that he must meet for the job of being my husband. Sort of like a classified ad for a new employee.  I got a LOT of replies to this ad and to my surprise many were from police officers or men in other areas of caregiving (i.e. firefighters, paramedics, etc.). BUT there was this one man who called and left a message on my voice mail. There was something about his voice, about the way he spoke with calmness and assurity that attracted me.

I called him back, using my previously mentioned telephone routine. After a few pay phone conversations, I felt comfortable enough to give him my home phone number. For two weeks, we conversed every night after I put my then 7 y.o. daughter and 1 y.o. son to bed. Finally, he asked me to meet him for dinner at Mulate’s. I was so excited! MULATE’S! I was so impressed! He was the first to ever suggest a REAL restaurant vs. Denny’s, McDonald’s, or Waffle House! Although I was a little hesitant, I agreed to meet him. We prepared ourselves for a disappointing first meeting….well, I did anyway. We decided that if “sparks” didn’t fly, we could still consider ourselves good friends having a dinner together.

At 8 p.m. that Friday night, I drove up in my little blue Toyota Corolla. I saw a nice looking gentleman sitting on the tailgate of his pick up truck in the parking lot, under one of the lights, just as I had requested.  I parked across from him but positioned my little Toyota so that I could adjust my rear view mirror to check him out a little more while I touched up my lipstick.

I looked around the parking lot and didn’t see anyone else looking like they were waiting for someone. I decided this must be the man I had been conversing with on the phone. That …. and the fact that he was sitting on the tailgate of the truck he described to me.

Finally, I got brave enough to exit my car and approach him. He was looking at his feet. He was wearing cowboy boots, Wrangler jeans, and a nice striped Wrangler western style shirt. No hat. He was a bit taller than me and made me feel small and delicate. So far, so good!

So I walk up to him, ducking my head a little to look up at him and I say, “Are you the one I’m looking for?”. He looks up, smiles at me with a twinkle in his bright blue eyes, places his hand over his heart, and replies, “God, I sure hope so!”. Wow, that was it. I was sunk. Right then and there!  I had passed the point of no return!

We went into the restaurant and took our sweet time eating our dinner. I can’t remember what he ordered, and I can’t remember the name of what I ordered. However, it was fried catfish smothered with crawfish etouffee’. Yummy! We ate some, danced a little to the music that was provided by a Cajun band, and we talked a lot more. He asked me about my Toyota and why I was driving it instead of the Chevy. There was just something about him….I told him about my scheme. I didn’t feel the need to lie to him at all. Just tell him the truth, openly and honestly. Though he didn’t approve of a false beginning, he did understand my position.

We had previously agreed that if there were no “sparks” when we met, then we would end our date and consider that we had made a new friend. If there WERE “sparks”, we would continue with our time together by going to see a movie. As we left the restaurant, I was feeling a little like this attraction was only one-sided even after the positive beginning to the evening. He was walking ahead of me, not beside me, and I was beginning to turn toward my car. As I took a few steps in that direction, I told him that it was nice to have met him and I said good night. He got this “What?” look on his face before reaching for my hand and asking, “Weren’t we going to see a movie?” to which I replied, “Well, sure, I guess!”

Leaving my car in the restaurant parking lot, we rode in his truck off to the movie theatre to see Forrest Gump. I had already seen the movie three times but I was looking forward to seeing it again with him. We arrived at the movie theatre a bit early. We bought the tickets and went to our seats where we waited until the lights went down and the movie began. While we waited, we had yet another deep conversation …. about footwear! All kinds and styles of footwear!  Boots, tennis shoes, sandals, heels, hiking shoes, etc.  During the movie, since I'd seen it 3 times, I kind of knew the script a little and kept leaning over to say the words just before the actor said them.  He didn't say anything to me about it but kept giving me one of those  "I'm gonna get you back for that" looks.  After the movie, we went for dessert at yet another restaurant, walked on the river walk downtown, and spent some time at the casino. Suddenly it was 3 a.m.!! It was time for this Cinderella to go home!

To make a long story short, we were married on his birthday, Nov. 15, 1997. He said he couldn’t ask for a better birthday gift. Now isn’t that just the sweetest thing!?