Faith of the Christian Heroes

I recently rented The Hiding Place about the holocaust experiences of Corrie Ten Boom. As I watched the movie, I thought about the end times and what's in store for Christians of the future. I let fear get the best of me and I began to be anxious.

I wondered if I am a strong enough Christian to endure what Corrie has endured. Am I strong enough to see God's hand in the tribulations? Am I strong enough to offer forgiveness to those who wrong me? I don't know. I've been told that God gives us the strength needed to endure troubled situations. I guess I would have to be in the situation before I know whether or not I'd be able to endure it and I wonder if I be able to spread His word and lead others to Him in such a situation.

I also wonder if I'm even truly saved. I grew up in church (thanks to my Mom). I even remember spending some fun times in the nursery!!! When I was 16 years old, I said the "sinner's prayer" and I asked Jesus into my heart. I sincerely meant it at the time, but then life got in the way and I was distracted with a boyfriend (later my first husband) and children. Years passed, I went through divorce and remarriage. Now, I'm a church musician and as such am in church constantly. Every week I hear the sermons and read the scripture references. Honestly, I'm sure I could do more about my Bible reading.

Anyway, in reference to my "am I really saved" question....I once heard Micheal Youssef speak on that. He said something to the affect of giving a gift and having the recipient continually question it. He said that after a while the gift giver may feel insulted that his gift wasn't so well received. For example: I invite someone to my house for a steak dinner. They gratefully accept but a few hours later they phone me up and ask if I really meant it. Then I would reply, Yes I really meant it and they'd be satisfied with that answer yet would still phone me up a few hours later to ask me again. This would go on and on but eventually causing me to feel like they haven't truly accepted my invitation.

Well, I certainly don't want to be that kind of gift recipient. I have no intention of insulting my Lord. I guess I am one of very little faith when it comes to my salvation. It's just one of those things that make me say "hmmmmm" once in a while.