Dearest Charlie,
I cannot believe how distracted I have been over the past year. I have really let you down. I tried the dating and relationship thing. Got burned twice. Lemme tell ya about it.
I shall call them by their nicknames. So, you know, at least I think you do, about Sugarlips. If not, lemme start at the beginning.
I met Sugarlips online, at OurTime.com. He started out just messaging me with no photo for reference. I had no idea what he looked like. We messaged back and forth for a bit before exchanging phone numbers. For a while, I knew him as Sugarlips Sims. After talking on the phone for about 6 weeks, we decided to meet. He sent me a pic and I thought he was attractive. The night we met, there was an instant magnetic connection. It was unreal. I hadn't felt that since you my Dahlin'. I missed it.
During conversation, I felt something was off though. I told him that he wasn't who he said he was. He insisted that he was. I almost asked for his ID but was distracted by an aptly timed ambulance. He took advantage of the distracted and changed the subject. I didn't get a chance to ask again for his ID.
We ended the evening and parted. I had a long drive planned for the next day. While on the drive, he kept calling to check on me. As if he could've come to rescue me if there was a problem. After every phone call, I would say to him, "Sugarlips, I know you are not who you say you are." My bullshitometer was going berserk. By the time I reached my destination some 8 hours later, he finally confessed to me that he was actually Sugarlips Erwin. That was my first red flag - and yet I ignored it.
He explained that was actually married for the 2nd time (on paper only) and lived at the address with his wife, her mother, and her two sisters. He lived in his shop 100 feet away from the house. Two weeks later, he began divorce proceedings and moved in with his daughter. Eventually, he lost everything keeping only a house and two acres he owned before this marriage.
During our long distance relationship, (we lived 130 miles apart), there were numerous red flags that popped up, and I kept hitting my bullshitometer snooze button. Fast forward to March 2020, when he begged me to move in with him. For two weeks, he constantly begged and pleaded. And then suddenly started easing off. I went ahead and packed up to move in. I made the drive up there. Only to be told "Turn your ass around and go home." He then cut off all communication.
Four days later, I see he has a new picture up on Facebook with a new girlfriend. A much younger woman named Jennifer. I was devastated.
This experience threw me back into that black hole of grief that I was in when you died. I lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks. Then, I met someone else.
I got on Tinder, because that seemed to be the quickest way to meet someone. I met a nice man I called Batman. He was awesome. He was such a great guy to talk to. Admittedly, I talked to him an awful lot about Sugarlips. He did not appreciate that much but he was very patient and compassionate. I told him about you too. I think ya'll could have been buddies. I think you might have liked him. He was in the oil field business so ya'll would have had that in common.
He also was a theatre kid, so he and I had that in common. He was a single dad to two teen daughters the same ages as ours. We had THAT in common. We had a LOT in common. We talked for hours. I really enjoyed those conversations about everything under the sun. BUT he would never commit to me. Kept telling me that he didn't want to be under anyone's thumb. Even said a time or two that I was overbearing. My bullshitometer was malfunctioning. It was not blaring like it did with Sugarlips. I didn't see any red flags with Batman. He was patient. He slowly unfurled one red flag at a time.
He revealed that he was still legally married to his wife of 25 years, though they have been living apart for 8 of those years. He has an on again/off again girlfriend that he cannot seem to shake. He got involved with me in order to get under her skin. She was not threatened by me. So, he reconnected with another woman, a younger woman named Jennifer, with whom he and the GF had a past. On Oct 13, 2020: He actually told me to my face that GF was not threatened by ME. That he could MARRY me and it would not bother her. But, OH, he gets involved with Jennifer and THAT would get under GF's skin. She would go ballistic once she found out.
He held me while I cried over his rejection. I thought that was nice of him to do. I felt he was a decent guy for doing that instead of dumping me and cutting off all communication the way Sugarlips had. He checked on me, texted me, called me to check on me. Jennifer stayed with him everynight since they reconnected. She's practically moved in with him.
On Halloween night, he texted me Happy Halloween. He asked how I was doing. We texted a few texts back and forth and then I got one that said, "Ok. Got busted." I did not reply.
This morning, his text to me said, "Awesome. Got Caught so do not text or call me again." And he cut off all communication. Just like Sugarlips.
That's 2 strikes in the past 6 months. I have been dumped TWICE for a younger woman named Jennifer and the 2nd one doesn't seem to realize that she is being used ... but she will. He'll mess up again and be alone. He might even call me. But I can't be bothered with all his issues.
The rejection hurts. Not as bad as losing you hurt, but nonetheless. I try to get out and meet new people and I get caught up with these yahoos. Baby, I miss you so much. I am so lost without you. I wish you were here.
Love always,
Me
No comments:
Post a Comment