My Dearest Charlie,
Today felt like a mix of quiet, normal, and just a little bit of that “this is really happening” feeling underneath it all.
I went to church this morning - for the first time in a while. Why did I wait so long? Well, because I'd been working that turnaround, ya know. Anyway, it was Youth Sunday, so the young people led the whole service. There was something about it that felt fresh and honest. Not polished, but real. I think you would’ve liked that. It reminded me of when the girls were younger.
It’s also Passover Sunday, so we had communion - The Lord’s Supper. That part slowed everything down for me. Gave me a moment to sit still and just take it in.
After church, I was hungry - hungry hungry - so I stopped at Dairy Queen and got some chicken tenders before heading home. Yes, I had leftovers in the fridge from game night with Alex… and yes, I could have waited.
But I was hongry. So chicken tenders it was.
I got home, laid down, and took a nap. Woke up… hongry again… and ate the leftovers anyway. So apparently today was sponsored by food and naps.
After that, I played on my phone a little while before finally getting up and tackling some more housework and decluttering.
And Charlie… I have SO MUCH to do before I leave Thursday.
It’s starting to settle in - not in a panicked way, but in that quiet “how is all of this going to get done?” kind of way. I know I’m going to have to trust that LB and Dana can handle things here.
I do worry about LB being here alone all weekend. That part sits in the back of my mind. But I can't do anything about it other than try to reassure her that everything will be okay.
Up until now, I’ve mostly just felt excited about this opportunity. The worry hasn’t really had much space yet. But I can feel it starting to show up - little things like the car, the distance, all the moving pieces.
Also - my left knee is really bothering me today. Bad enough that I can feel it running up my IT band and into my hip. Thank goodness I’ve got that appointment with Kasey tomorrow to massage it out. I may just have her focus on that left leg and nothing else.
Still… I think if I take my time and space the drive out over a few days, I’ll be alright.
That seems to be where I am right now—doing what I can, trusting the rest, and just taking it one step at a time.
How would you feel about me printing you out and making a Flat Charlie companion for the trip? It may be silly but I'd feel a little like I'd have you there to share the trip with. I miss you in the ordinary parts of days like this. The church service, the drive, even something as simple as stopping for food - I still think often about what it would be like if you were there with me.
But I’m okay.
Really, I am.
Just moving forward… steady.
Love you always,
Me
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