Well, I did it. I got the trees down and the scrap metal sold. I hate making these kinds of decisions but I don't have a choice anymore. I HAVE to make them. I never realized just how dependent I was on you. I thought I was an independent woman but realized this week that I just THOUGHT I was. I'm in fact, not independent at all! I WISH you were here to make these manly decisions. I sometimes don't know what to think or say or do in these situations. These are things you should be dealing with ... not me. These men who come to the house to look over the few items left for sale, will bamboozle me into taking 1/2 the price.
I'm scared Charlie. I don't want to do this alone. Raise the girls. Pay the bills. Mow the lawn. Fix the motorhome. I don't want to do this by myself! I miss you being here. I miss your hugs. I miss your kisses. I miss your smart ass remarks. I miss your cooking. I miss your coffee brewing even though I didn't drink it. I miss your smell. I miss everything about you. I miss you.
The girls are doing better. This has been a rough week with all the choir rehearsals and performances. This coming weekend is the girls piano recital as well. We miss having you here with us to be in the audience.
My thoughts have been all over the place these past 3 months. I told you I had a dream about you. I sleep now waiting for you to revisit me. I want to see you and touch you again and the only place I can is in my dreams.
I love you and miss you so much.
Me.
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