2018, Mar 28 - The 7th week

Hey honey,

Tomorrow will be 7 weeks since your funeral.  Only 7 weeks?  Why does it feel like so much longer!?  It feels like it's been forever! 

On Monday, I laid in bed all morning until it was time to get up and take the girls to their choir practice.  I didn't do anything Monday morning. 

Tuesday, I had an appointment scheduled to see an attorney about the property and titles etc.  I went into Denham and got some breakfast at James Grill.  Then went out to the truck and realized I had locked the keys in the thing.  So, I had to call AAA for roadside assistance.   I pulled the card out and the membership was expired, so I had to renew it on the spot.  I had to reschedule my attorney's appointment and then I met Samantha at Walmart to look at flip phones for the girls.   When I left Walmart, I began feeling lightheaded.  Since I was driving, I thought it might be a good idea to go to the ER to get checked out.  The doctor said he wished his labwork was as good as mine.  He told me there was nothing wrong with me and that it was in my head.  Apparently, I'm not crying over you enough.  He told me to go home and take it easy, or I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown.  I wonder what one of those looks like?

Wednesday, I left the house early and went to my widow's support group.  I don't like that group.  I'm the youngest one there and I feel overwhelmed everytime I go.  I'm not going next week. 

After the meeting, I helped Destry out with some music for Choir, met the new pastor (BTW, I don't like him ... yet).  Then I went to get the girls from school for their orthodontist appointment.  We arrived at the appointment 1/2 hour early, so all of us took a nap in the parking lot.  Then I took M2 to her guitar lesson, followed by choir practice and stuff at church.

Well, that's about it.  I was able to come home and get a couple of things done.  I'm collecting your baseball caps and putting them in a plastic tote.  And the same for toys in the girls rooms.  I haven't gotten around to your clothing yet.  It's going to take me a little while.

I miss you so much.  I miss your smell, your arms, the feel of you in the bed, your smart ass remarks to me.  I especially miss your getting up in the morning and making your coffee.  I miss going to breakfast with you and tagging along on the job rides with you.  I miss everything about us.  I feel so lost.  I love you.  I hope you know how much I love you.

Me.