2018, Mar 22 - Here again

Hey babe -

Not much going on today.  I started out missing you bunches this morning.   Took M2 to the theatre and dropped her off for her first performance of "Way Off Broadway".  Then went to work out and started crying on the treadmill.  Something there reminded me of you.  I can't remember what it was now.  I only did 1/2 hour on the treadmill today.  Then I worked upper body weights, some back, and some abs.  I didn't have it in me to do another 30 on the treadmill.

Then, I went to the library to print out some music, followed by going to the theatre to pick up M2.  I had to wait a long time because she wasn't finished yet.  Finally, she came out and we were able to run home to grab piano music bags.  Then we had to get back to town to get M1.  She waited patiently while M2 ran into the library before her lesson.

Got them to piano lessons, I took a nap in the truck, and then at 5:15p we went back to the theatre.  Tonight ran a little differently than this ore.  Man, I'm tired.

I had anxiety/panic attacks several times today.  It was driving me crazy!  Finally, around 1:30 or so, I realized what was going on.  I'm having these panic attacks because you aren't here!  It's the girls first major performances since you've passed. You won't be in the audience like you were before.  You won't be with us tomorrow night.  You will be missed tremendously.

Oh, I got a letter from the Eye Bank.  You'll be pleased to know that one of your beautiful baby blues was transplanted into another person.  The other one was sent for research.  I have instructions in the letter that say I can write a letter to the recipient and enclose a couple of pictures of you.  I think I will do that.  I'm glad to know that a part of you is still here.  Maybe one day I'll meet the recipient.

I'm thankful that I have friends, old and new, to text, talk to, keep me safe and to listen to me.   I'm so tired tonight and tomorrow is another long day.

Well, I guess that's about all I've done today.  Much of it was just sitting in the truck waiting for the girls.  I couldn't go too far away because, well, because I didn't want to.   So, I'm signing off for now.  I love you!

Me.